


soul drunk & lover’s high

by lilith love (marzana)



Category: Compilation of Final Fantasy VII, Final Fantasy VII
Genre: Angst, Emotional Sex, Explicit Sexual Content, F/M, Hurt/Comfort, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-10
Updated: 2020-07-10
Packaged: 2021-03-04 20:46:50
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,317
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25192618
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/marzana/pseuds/lilith%20love
Summary: a love so deep that without him there, she’s incomplete.he leaves. he comes back. all she needs is for him to stay.
Relationships: Tifa Lockhart/Cloud Strife
Comments: 18
Kudos: 110





	soul drunk & lover’s high

**Author's Note:**

> hellooo! this is my first contribution to this fandom and this ship ever. let me just say that i’ve fallen deeply in love with these two!! 
> 
> let’s pretend that this fic has a plot — i wanted take this chance to explore the type of intimacy that i love to dream of. i hope you enjoy! ♥️

The light breaks, but the heat doesn't. The air is full and warm and it sticks to her skin like nothing else.

Or maybe it's the sky that's on her, electric blue and blown out, staring straight into her soul through the summer night crowd. The stars could come crashing down for once, but it wouldn't burn her as bad as he does, sitting quiet, back after leaving when she never wanted him to.

He never means to. She doesn't know how much she believes that, though, or if she even believes he's here. The bags under his eyes are bruises. She could kiss them closed. She could hold him

'til he slept, coddled and pacified, but she doesn't think tonight will be that night.

Her legs feel weak and her head spins. The humidity is clogging her up. She hasn't eaten, hasn't slept much, either, and it's something else she sees in him because she knows it herself. The lights flicker. She wants the night to die. For the heat to rise and break. For the ache in her chest to dissipate, and maybe also the one lying in the deep of her stomach, too.

She _feels_ his eyes drag down her skin. She's turned away and _busy, working, I've got to work_ but his stare is so heavy that it weighs her to the spot. Her knees wobble and something warm tingles up her spine. She can't _take him_ right now.

She pulls herself together, pulls her face tight, as if he won't see through it. Like he doesn't know her. He could keep sitting and staring her down for all she cares, and she slides someone's order down the counter, bending over more than she needs to. She doesn't think much about it. But that's the problem. It always has been, hasn't it? What did _reckless_ get her? How did she get here?

Where did he _go?_

She glances past where he should be, but he's up and gone again. Regrettably, _resoundingly_ , her heart falls down to the bottom of her very self and the sound of it echoes in her mind. Like some watered down instance of grief, curling around her bones and letting her blood run cold. Seeing him hurts, but having him _gone_ severs her veins, and she despises his absence as much as his presence has grown to unsettle her.

Her gut twists and she turns her body away. Too much. _Too much._ Her wrists feel limp, her head too heavy. She wills herself tall. Wills herself not to _ache_ but it's so instilled and so fast in her heart that her breath escapes her.

_It doesn't matter. He'll come back. It doesn't matter. I'm okay. I'll find him. He'll come back. It doesn't matter._

But it matters when he leaves her alone and she wishes she didn't need anyone. The world turns and her thoughts turn faster but her mind stills when she catches him in the corner of her eye. Maybe he's a ghost, but she can't see through him. He moves and his breath is visible, broad chest expanding, and she moves hers in sync without really knowing or knowing why. It makes sense to look at him, craning his beautiful neck over to the side. He stretches slightly and she wants the taste of him so bad that her lips tingle with it.

He's talking to somebody, or more likely talking his way out of a conversation. Legs spread on a stool and propped up against the wall.

She'd get down on her knees for him. She would. She knows this damn well and she's not sure if she _cares_ anymore.

He must know. His eyes slide onto hers, even darker than just before, and any shame she feels is stifled by the slight raise of his brow, the shift of his hips, the twitch of his mouth and his tongue on the corner of it.

It rolls through her. She might collapse from the sheer _overwhelm_ of it, yet he keeps her standing and still with the promise he leaves unspoken. It's heavy on her. He must see the glass of her eyes from here.

Her face is flushed and she finally blinks. He's still there.

Still here.

_With me, for me._

Or something, something, _something_ like that.

_Don't leave me._

Maybe she won't ever have to say it. Not again. _Never again._

_Don't leave again._

She begs silently, even though it humiliates her, even though maybe it shouldn't — the pull in the string between their bodies is so visceral that she nearly falls forward, and he's ready to come back to her, but she catches herself. She can't help but smile.

That's shame, etched into his face. Isn't it? Guilt? All his sorries? She doesn't want to hear it.

She needs it _felt_.

Her body, empty. Devoid of him. He always fills her up. The only person who makes her whole. Lives with her to the point of conviction. He gives her more to believe in, beyond what they've worn themselves down for.

And now she's tired. Losing her ground over and over, spiralling when her mind goes free and he's not there to hold her down.

She needs him close.

Always close.

Closer and closer 'til the night closes in and the world ends again. Have faith in him when he doesn't, which is all too often.

_I miss the stars with you. Make me whole under them. Let them fall. I miss you. I need you with me. By my side._

It's well past midnight, and the sleeplessness of the past few days weigh on her even more. He keeps his distance and she keeps going, not wanting to think but still trying to find what she can say. Her anxiety is both soothed and roused with every movement he makes.

He knocks back his beer and the way he swallows sends her somewhere. She doesn't _know._ She's shaking. Floating. Her body works for her, pours drinks, keeps track of the sweat sliding down his face and then his neck. She nearly licks the air.

He wipes his chin and parts his lips when she peeks again. His brows twitch, his _muscles…_ his jaw clenches and she exhales, watches as he follows, as his vision rakes down her.

She twirls with the butterflies in her stomach. Arches her back. Needs him over and over and over.

_Fill me up, fill me in._

She leans over the counter and arches her back, just _slightly._ Looks over her shoulder.

_Eat me._

She can already feel his teeth in her neck.

She rocks her hips, just once, tosses her hair back as she stands back up, the adrenaline a potion for her weakness.

The crowd slowly trickles out. She wills herself not to look his way. She might become broken. He might break her this way. She can't _stand_ being so far away. A second from slipping away, and she wouldn't know until it's too late.

_Far gone, far away. Come to me. Come to me, come to me, come to me._

She should be angry. It dawns on her and it settles.

How _dare_ he? When she creates new heartbeats for him, drives away his pain, continues to lose him and adores him _anyway_?

But the anger is tired and it coughs instead of sparks. When he comes closer, it'll make sense in her head.

_Nothing else but you, no one else._

She can't _live_ this way. So hollow.

_Come._

The bar empties out.

_Stay._

Her legs and hands tremble as she makes her way to the front and locks the door. She holds her breath and tries not to trip on the way back, now _afraid_ to be here, alone with his stare, so tantalizing and filling her to the brim with emotion.

She's choking on her own sigh and grabbing a rag, wiping down the counter even though it doesn't really need to be, but how else can she function now? She's crumbling. Her knees are ready to buckle.

She walks briskly to the table, which actually needs cleaning, and wipes at it thoroughly, slowly, running away from him but also begging him to come — to make the move — to _talk_ because she can't be the one to do it every time. And because even if she wanted to, they can't come out.

Especially when she feels him approaching, his footsteps light but still ringing out like they'll raise the dead in the silent night. The lights have dimmed, but it never mattered if she could see him or not. He's damned her, and he's done it deliciously.

Her heart throbs as he comes up behind her, his heat comfortable there as it radiates onto her slick skin but at the same time it _kills_ her. He blurs the lines, he always does, he makes her see _double —_

Her mouth parts as he draws his bare hand over hers, gripping the rag and pressing it into the table. He's sure while she's only just become steady.

Just that touch makes the heat pool in her stomach and _drip_ out of her. Her throat is dry and she feels herself gasp without the sound. It might be him that's humming, though, so light.

He hooks his index finger under hers and straightens it. Inching closer with her middle. Then her ring. Pinky. Until her hand is splayed out and he can drag the rag from under it.

Then his palm is warm on her, stilling her. Her knuckles press against the center of it and he pushes back, just enough for her hand not to move.

She feels both of their pulses through it. So erratic and jumbled that it seems like one.

He's leaning over her, untouching but close to it. That's his breath hushing sweetly over her hair, sending chills through her. She gasps as his lips just barely brush by the shell of her ear, the goosebumps so sudden and strong that she _shudders._

He mouths something, maybe her name, it must be; she's felt it there before. A plea. She'll give him _anything._

She shuts her eyes and leans back against him. She sighs at his warmth, welcomed despite the sticky heat. The back of her head bumps against his cheek.

And achingly slow, she waits.

_Touch me._

_Nothing else._

" _Touch me,_ " she says so quietly she may as well have mouthed it.

He must've heard anyway, and she's glad for it. Whatever the case is, she's glad for it, _needs this_ even if he kills her with the single finger running up her stomach, starting from the very bottom of where she's exposed.

He traces her navel, circling it lazily, his breath growing hot and damp near her neck. She tilts her head subtly to the side and nearly _whines_ when his mouth comes closer.

He follows up the center of her tummy, feather-light up to her ribcage, pressing his fingertip into the softness there.

And with _a — before she can think —_

"'m _sorry…_ " he mumbles into her neck.

And his palm, hot, _pressing_ into her stomach —

"I'm sorry, Teef."

_Pull me in_ and he _pulls_ her against him, her back melting into his front, and he keeps her there.

"Forgive me…" he whispers into his kiss, soft, and just barely — but enough to… _enough._

And she can only think to say his name.

She feels small as he draws the hand over hers away and cups her sex fully. She's _pulsing_ and embarrassingly wet, but the rumble in his chest as he grunts has her rolling her hips. Then he grips her _tight_ and she gasps, leaning forward only to have him bring her back, pressed against him.

She takes the hand on her stomach and wraps it around her waist, then grips the other, nails sinking into his bicep. He squeezes her gently, and she rocks with it, his tongue at the lobe of her ear.

"You want me to make you feel good, Teef? Hmm?" he says low into her ear.

She rubs herself into his hand, and she can feel his smile. She doesn't dare to open her eyes, or to speak. She's lost in him. _He already knows._

He nips at her. "Guess not…" he whispers.

He tries to pull away but she _squeezes_ her thighs together, scratching at his arm before he even _dares to._ He chuckles and she _hates_ that she loves it, _hates_ that her knees are really buckling now and that he's always the one who's getting her back to her feet, rubbing whole circles into her center.

She throws her head to the side, nose pressed into his cheek, something low-pitched and long escaping her.

He kisses the tip of her nose. "I'm here… I won't stop touching you…"

He slides the hand around her middle up to her breast, brushing his thumb over her aching nipple. She _heaves_ and he presses his open mouth to the side of her face. The weight of his fingers against the swell of her sex has her _sinking_.

" _Cloud,_ " she whimpers as his lips trail down to her neck, branding her softly.

"Yeah, baby?" he says sweetly, despite the hardness pressing into her. Despite the roughness of his hand back on her stomach, trapping her to him.

_Nowhere else. Nowhere else. Nowhere else._

"Tell me what you need."

Without a thought: " _You._ "

She's on the table in less than a moment, legs spread so wide they're on either side of it. He's holding her open by the inside of her thighs. Her hands already hurt from holding herself up behind her back, but when he's on his knees like that, what can she do? How can she _live?_

She watches her stomach expand and deflate all too quickly, again and again, his eyes lightning and lighting her up and she's burning again. Dying out and coming back. Always being his.

_Always yours._

His lips brush against her core. The shock of it jolts her back to reality, but her head still spins, and she's whining something like his name.

She _feels_ him say it: "I need to taste you."

He can do whatever he wants. It doesn't matter. She's _slipping_.

And over the fabric of her underwear, his _tongue,_ flat and full on her. It shoots from the tips of her toes to the crown of her head. His open mouth over her, teeth gentle on her, a tentative bite. It's too much, just right, _not enough, I love it so much that I can't_ stand _it._

He buries his nose in her and _inhales_ and she knows he finds the same life in her that she does in him. Every movement is thick and heavy and doused in honey, his mouth so _loving_ that she needs to grab his hair and keep him there.

He grabs the bottom of her thighs and places his thumbs on the insides of them.

"You," he kisses her center, "smell," kisses her,

"so," again, " _good,_ " _again._

She cracks her eyes open and finds his intent on her, pupils blown.

Slowly, she rolls her hips forward. And _oh._

She's on her hands and knees so fast that she actually gets _dizzy._

He flips her skirt up and dips a finger under her underwear, pulling it and letting it snap back into place.

"Soaked right through," he says, inching closer to where it _matters._ "You're so fucking _wet._ "

" _Mmm…"_ she moans, circling her hips round and round.

She drops her face to the table and stretches her back out, spreading her legs as wide as they can go.

It's the _growl_ that makes her shudder.

He's tearing the fabric down and spreading her open. And then his mouth, his _mouth_ is on her pussy and she's _going._

She moans his name until it doesn't sound like _anything_ anymore. Focuses on the feeling of his lips covering her whole, _eating_ _her_. He licks her with the flat of his tongue from top to bottom and _moans_ at her taste. It reverberates through her entire body and she can't help but throw herself against his face.

She's writhing on the wood of the table and daring to look underneath herself. He kisses her full and hot and he _doesn't stop_ and she shakes _violently,_ cooing into the warm air and somehow making out the way his arm moves beneath her.

" _Mm…_ are you _touching— ah!— yourself?_ " she gasps as he tucks his tongue inside of her.

He _groans_ and she pushes against his mouth. The table wobbles so he steadies her with a rough hand on her back.

Through half-lidded eyes, she watches him rub himself over his pants. " _Cloud,_ " she whines.

He takes his hand away from his groin and grabs the front of her thigh, pulling her closer. He's _sucking_ on her, drawing out sounds that she didn't know she could make.

Then his hot breath, hovering over her. "You like it when I fuck you with my tongue?" He presses another kiss to her ache. "Hm?"

He spreads her pussy open with his thumbs, blowing cool air over it. She can't control the way she _bucks_ to him, and she can't say she wants to; she feels her wetness slowly trickle out of her and moans in frustration.

" _Hmm?_ "

He kisses her everywhere but where she needs it. And each time he sinks his teeth into her ass, she shimmies her hips and hates him. Hates how he makes her like _this,_ and the _desperation_ grows, throwing her even further into the haze.

She never knew she could be like this. Maybe this was her at her most open, most _vulnerable._ But she's never accepted the notion before. Never so readily. Never so _adamantly._

_I need you. I need you. I need you._

"Say it again _."_

"I need you. I _need_ you."

" _Again."_

" _I need you._ "

Her wetness leaks down her thigh and she shivers as he licks it up.

"I need _you,_ Tifa," he mumbles before taking her back into his mouth.

And just the way he's having her— she feels just how _deprived_ he is. She feels the roots of it, tangling around her and stringing them together. It's a connection that she wants to go down under with.

She can't have it any other way.

It's him. Only him. _Always him._

She cums in his mouth when he sucks on her clit so harshly that her vision whites out.

The end racks through her like sobs. Her legs shake so hard that he literally has to keep her from collapsing on the table.

And as she lets go, she feels the cleanse of her soul. She can't believe it. She can't believe she _exists_ to know such a thing. She's so undone that she thinks she may have _died._

He keeps kissing her. He licks her clean and slowly comes to a stop when it becomes too much. The adoration seeps through her and she smiles, unable to do anything else.

He slips her underwear back on, helps her sit up, and stands between her legs at the edge of the table. His smile is small but sure, patient and waiting. She gives it back to him.

Gently, he cups her face into his hands and tilts her head up. He kisses her long and sweet in the space between her brows, rubbing it with his thumb once he pulls back.

His fingers feel so _good_ in her hair. She sighs at the tingles that run through her scalp and down her back. It feels like a lullaby, and so does his breath, closing in near her ear.

"I'm sorry."

The dream comes crashing down.

_That's right. Oh yeah! Oh yeah, that's right, that's right, that's right…_

It's _ugly_ but she's been pried open and put on display. The tears reach her eyes but she's not ready to let them fall. Her throat goes thick and she tries to swallow past it.

He comes closer but she pushes him away, fingers scraping at his chest as she lets go.

"Tifa…"

Even though she's weak, she stands on her still-shaking legs. She takes a single step but he's quicker than her.

"Tifa. Please."

She shakes her head. It's through sheer willpower that her chin doesn't wobble.

" _Tifa."_

"No."

"No?"

Her heart aches. " _No."_

The _pain_ in his face is too much to bear; she forces her eyes away from his and lets it trail down.

She regrets it.

She can practically see him _throbbing_ underneath his pants. She shuts her eyes as a chill goes through her. Her pulse is climbing up high again and it has her losing her focus.

She _tears_ her body away and walks off. But he's grabbing her by the waist and pulling her back to him and she doesn't know how to _fight it._ His hand is soft around her throat as he slides his lips onto hers, fervent and heated and _sorry_.

All these sorries. She's mourned them all.

She kisses him back. Even when the tears slip down her cheeks. Even when she tastes more

of herself than him.

He wraps his arms tight around her. She reaches back and places her hand around the back of his neck, tugging him even further down. She cranes her head as he kisses her deeply, _deeper_ , tongue hot on hers.

When she loses all her air, she pulls at his hair and stumbles away, bumping into the edge of the table. He's swift and in front of her again, grabbing her wrists and placing her hands on his chest. He wraps his own underneath her thighs and hikes her legs up around his hips.

_You keep leaving me._

"I know."

He reads her and she lets him.

She lets him lift her. Carry her upstairs. She tucks her face into the crook of his neck and silently cries.

_No one but you._

The rage is being buried and she wants to bring it back. It should be here. She shouldn't be in his arms.

But he's _strong._ And he's sorry. Always _sorry._

He sits them down somewhere she doesn't care to look. His lap is comfortable. She wishes she wished it wasn't.

He rubs her back soothingly, pecking the side of her face. He trails his lip up from her neck to her cheek to her temple and back down again.

"Tifa," he huffs. "Say something."

She ignores him. He threads his fingers through her hair and tugs at it gently, and she feels it down to the ends of her limbs. He forces her to face him, but she keeps her eyes closed. He kisses them until they open.

From here, she's above him. The frown on his face makes her stomach knot. She wants to soothe him, so she smoothes her thumbs over his brows, down the lines of his emotion, and watches in awe as it melts away.

"Talk to me, baby," he whispers against her lips.

She grinds down on him. Her chest swells as his brows go low and his eyes go dark and his mouth always looks so _gorgeous_ when it parts like that.

She wants to forget again. _Let me forget it._

She shimmies her hips and almost cracks a smile when he grabs them roughly.

" _Teef,_ " he says. A warning.

She takes his face in her palms and pushes down again.

It's the way he looks at her. He makes her do stupid things. He makes her mind go blank and her instincts run through, pure and unhinged.

His teeth in her neck. He's rocking against her,

meeting her in the middle, building her up again. She can feel how much he _needs_ her.

He licks down her throat and to her chest, grabbing at her shirt. She whimpers as he tugs it up and nips at the tops of her breasts, moving along with her heavy breaths. She pushes her chest into his face and _groans_ as he rubs her from behind.

He tugs at the fabric of her bra with his teeth, dragging it up, and grunting as he fails. He's clumsy and cursing as he reaches for the hook, but she beats him to it. She tears her bra and shirt off and tosses them over to her bedroom floor. It's then that she realizes they're on her bed.

Her nipples feel sore as they're exposed to him. He always seems to make her ache in more ways than one.

" _Fuck,_ Tifa _,"_ he groans as he stares, fingers digging into her ass and lifting her higher on top of him. He nips at her breasts, licks in between them. Kneads the softness in his hands. "You're _beautiful._ "

He takes her nipple into his mouth and the sensation is _delicious._ She throws her head back and _moans,_ fingers lacing through his hair and holding him to her chest. Her back arches as he pulls her underwear aside, knuckles brushing her bare center.

He scrapes his teeth over her nipple and she _jerks_. It hurts so _good._ She's so sensitive, her whole body has become malleable.

She _yelps_ as he bites down and moans as he releases her. Even his fingers are gone from

her.

She opens her eyes and sees his fingers in his mouth before he brings them up to hers. Without hesitation, she sucks them in, rocking her body slowly as she licks up the length of them.

She can't believe how _good_ he looks. His chest heaving and staring straight at her with his dark,

dark eyes.

Slowly, she draws his fingers out and holds his hand in both of hers, kissing his palm and going down his wrist. She doesn't stop riding against him.

" _Fuck,_ " he says again, barely a whisper.

Then they're sinking inside of her, mouth open and brows twitching as he fills her with _something, finally._ It feels so _good_ to be wrapped around him.

He sucks at her nipple again, slowly pumping his fingers in and out of her heat. She arches her back even further and he anchors her with a heavy arm around her waist.

He sets a rhythm and she moves with it, tossing her head back and gasping as he hits something _right._

" _Mhm,"_ he moans around her nipple. The vibration makes her sigh. " _Mhmmm."_

He unlatches his lips from her. "Yeah, baby." He licks her other breast before biting down. " _Fuck_ yourself on my fingers."

His words are _hot_ and they pool out of her, and _fuck. Fuck,_ she's losing it _quick._

" _Yeah,_ " he says. "Just like _that. Fuck,_ you're so _good,_ Tifa. So _gorgeous._ _Mmm."_

" _Cloud… ah… yeah…."_

She's going fast, faster, tremors racking through her. Pleasure so blinding that the exhaustion she feels everywhere can't find a place to belong. She loves this. _Craves it._

"Cum for me, baby," he says low and sweet. "Let go, baby, _let go._ "

He's fucking her just as fast, and it's that realization that sends her off.

She _whines_ as it overcomes her, washing down her back before her body erupts with orgasm. He doesn't stop moving his fingers. He doesn't let her go, even when her body jolts so violently that he nearly topples over.

He rides her out and she nearly sobs when his fingers leave her.

She doesn't want him to go, or how else to thank him — she grabs his face roughly and kisses him hard, wrapping her arms around his neck. He wounds his around her waist and falls back against the bed, licking into her mouth and drawing more noises from her.

She drags her lips down his cheek and then down his jaw, proud as he sighs and stretches his neck out for her to bite. She sucks onto the skin of his throat, licks up the side of it, drinks in the way he exhales like he loves every _bit_ of it.

She wants to give back. She wants to make him feel the way she feels now, free and glowing, _released._

She sits up on his lap, smiling when he blinks his eyes open in confusion. He's so beautiful right now that it actually hurts her heart to look, yet she can't turn away. She can't leave him the way he left her.

Not now. Not ever.

He lifts himself onto his elbows.

"Tifa?"

She loves his voice. The way it carries her name.

Carefully, she gets off the bed, her legs still shaking. She toes off her boots. Pulls off her socks. Slips off her skirt. Drags her underwear down her legs and keeps her eyes on him as she does.

And she stands before him, skin flushed and oversensitive, eyes dazed and heart beating through her chest.

He stands and pulls her to him. The fabric of his clothes is too warm and rough, and she writhes as he holds her close. She dips her fingers beneath his shirt and scrapes her nails at the skin there, dipping her head back as he shivers.

She stares up at him. Adoring and wide-eyed. "Can I touch you?"

He tilts his head, disbelieving. But it doesn't take long for him to _curse_ and practically tear his shirt over his head.

Her mouth is on his chest instantly, kissing across the broadness. She sucks a bruise into his pec and then scrapes her teeth down to his stomach, licking at the muscle there.

She's sinking to her knees. Pressing her breasts to his thighs. Kissing his happy trail. His moan goes _straight_ to her sex and all over again, she's _swollen._

And as she goes lower, lower, lower, hands at the button of his pants, _I need to taste you, Cloud, I do —_

" _Tifa,_ " he grunts, fingers carding through her hair. "It's _okay._ "

She looks at him plainly. It's pointless with him.

Without breaking away, she undoes his pants and licks at his length over his underwear.

"Oh, _shit,"_ he mutters under his breath.

She picks at the waistband of his briefs before gently pushing him down to sit.

"I need to taste you," she echoes.

He looks so turned on that it's brought him to the point of pain. She pulls him down by the neck and kisses him full and wet, helping him tug the rest of his clothes off. He lifts his hips as he pulls his underwear down.

She thinks back to earlier, when he had been sitting, legs spread the way they are now. But now she sees all of him, hot and thick and pulsing. So perfect for her that she licks her lips and _feels_ it when he groans.

"You're so fucking _perfect,"_ he says, grabbing her face again and latching his lips onto hers. She moans into the kiss and he follows, sucking her tongue into his mouth the second he slips his into hers.

He takes a while to let go. When he does, she's lightheaded and she almost _forgets._ He chuckles and he's _sexy_ for it.

So before he can try and stop her again, she leans in and takes his length. His sharp _gasp_ has her bold and hungry. She presses the flat of her tongue to his balls and licks up, up, up, to the tip where she leaves a kiss and has him _shudder._

She goes back down, gently sucking on his balls and going slightly insane when his eyes roll to the back of his head. Her hand slips down between her thighs and she presses her chest to his legs, as much as the position would allow.

The hot sounds that leave him have her throbbing and _wetter_ than before. She moans around him and he bucks his hips towards her.

" _Tifa,_ " he begs quietly.

She kisses up his cock before licking down it, over and over, rubbing herself slowly as he loses control. His hand tightens in her hair.

"'s good, baby," he rasps. "So good, Teef. _Ah._ "

She sinks her mouth onto him. Catches his eyes following the hand on her pussy, all because of _him._

He thrusts up once, _twice,_ and _moans. "Fuck._ No, no, no, no more. _Fuck._ "

He pulls her up and slides his lips over hers, crushing her to him. She still feels him hard against her stomach. She tries to reach for him but he grabs her hand and pins it behind her.

Another sorry fills her mind as he kisses her cheek. She licks the taste of him from her lips and tries to memorize it.

"I'm sorry," he says once again, voice rough. "That… that would've been it for me."

"What if I wanted that?"

He pauses, dumbfounded. Her inhibitions have gone two fucks ago.

She brushes her nose against his. "What if I wanted your cum in my mouth? The same way mine was in yours?"

"Tifa…"

"Cloud."

"...Yes?"

Despite her disappointment, the resentment that threatened to come back up, the _everything_ she can't even begin to decipher — she brushes his hair back gently.

She wants to be able to touch him like this, always. Not only here. Not only when he's sorry and he can't think of any other way to fix it.

She never should have fought it in the first place. She's seen the losing game more often than not. Yet she still hurts when he comes and goes, with his eyes blind to the one person who needs him home.

She pushes at his chest so that he lays flat on his back. She straddles his lap and sits down, pressing a quick kiss to his heart before sitting back up.

"Can you fill me up, Cloud?"

That's all it takes.

She's taking him in, filling her emptiness with all of him, until there's nothing left for her to take.

Nothing has ever made as much sense as this.

This is how she could be, forever. She sees the same behind the overwhelm in his eyes.

She leans her weight into her hands on his chest, circling her hips before pulling them forward, and then slowly sinking back. He takes hold of them as he lifts his knees and braces his feet onto the bed.

And all she needs, she has. He's filled her up and in. Has her safe, even when she's singed by the heat of his sighs.

_I belong here. He belongs in me._

She rides him nice and slow, feeling small but strong. He's given her the strength to look at his face fully and kiss his bitten lips without her heart falling.

She tastes her name as she pulls him up. He rests his back against the wall and wraps his strong, strong arms around her, holding her together as her nails scrape his scalp.

He looks up at her with such focus and care, brows furrowed and eyes wild. His face so perfect that it pours molten love all through her insides, and his name slips endlessly off her tongue without thought. His body so _beautiful_ with hers as they fuck with such intensity that the sun may have come about.

So connected and in line. Their cries melt together. They're someone new.

" _Tifaaaa,_ " he moans as she picks up the pace, her desperation to go over the edge undeniable.

"Clou— _unh!_ " she gasps as he thrusts up roughly.

She _yelps_ as he flips her onto her back and kisses her hot and heavy, his movements growing erratic. She digs her nails into his back, hooks her legs around his middle, slides her tongue over his.

" _Fuck,_ " he whimpers, hitting her _deep,_ and she cries out.

" _Yes — ah!"_

He buries his face into her neck and she holds him there. He presses into the backs of her thighs, stretching them out, and she feels something _new_ unraveling.

She's complete. Complete. _Complete._

Her legs _quake_ as his hips slam into her, faster and faster, hot hot _hot_ and so _good. Perfect. Perfect._

" _I need you,_ " she pants into his ear. " _Need_ you, Cloud, _need —"_

He cuts her off with his mouth back on hers and her soul is escaping. It's leaving her body, she feels it _going_ as her greatest release cracks from the very core of her being.

He holds her tight.

" _I love you._ "

He sets her free.

It begins as a spark. Flooding from her back and out, tingling from the bottom of her spine to the top. He keeps her as still as he can, moving in her still, _loving her_ as her back arches out of her control and the fire ignites.

She thought she died before; she's seeing the light now. Their bodies are all she knows.

She's _whole_.

It doesn't matter how long it takes for her to exist on this plane again. Her mind could never come back.

She's warm and safe. Liberated and at peace. He killed the part of her that had to die.

When she opens her eyes, her vision is blurry. He still looks painfully gorgeous through it.

She hadn't realized she was crying.

He kisses her tears away. Cooes into her ear,

promises her things she can't make out. He's still inside of her. She can't bear the thought of him leaving.

He kisses her cheek over and over, the tears still spilling over. Her arms are loose around his neck, too weak to hold any tighter.

"Stay in me," she whispers.

He kisses her. Kisses her. Kisses her.

"Okay," he promises. "Okay."

"Don't leave."

He's so warm.

"I won't."

_Stay forever._

He's a dream over her. He must be.

He loves her.

Love.

_Love._

"I'll stay, Tifa."

_Say my name forever._

"As long as you let me."

He kisses her dizzy.

Loved.

_Alive._

"I'll stay."

Her heart swells full, achingly so.

She smiles bright like stars. His eyes matching.

And like a prayer in everything of her:

_I love you._


End file.
